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ok. here we go.
let's see if i can make it through this.

greg, man, that was too short, bucko.
you better be coming back here pretty quick.

i'm SUPER happy for greg, but i really feel for
his family, his sisters, his friends, his colleagues, everyone at the AQMB and anyone who ever knew him at all.
and i feel for people that never knew him, because
he was/is a really wonderful guy and they never knew him.

a fantastic writer he was/still is. a very level head on his shoulders. couldn't be stopped by not having a full leg(wow was i super impressed with how he handled that!!!!!!! i mean, i've had all these surgeries but i don't think i could do as well as he did with that circumstance!).
got to meet people he admired and hand some awards and
write reviews on their films. he's probably seen the most films i've never heard of of anyone i know!!!(that includes m y cousin and hip friends and other movie reviewers lol).

i thought perhaps i was going to be able to meet him and cal at the sea gull in NYC but i missed them by i don't know how much. i'm envious of cal for getting to meet him in person(and i'm envious of greg for meeting cal in person). it would have been SOOOO wonderful to be there with you guys because i DID NOT have a pleasant experience in that line for all those hours by myself for a handful of reasons.

i remember thinking greg was really cute when i fell for his dressing up like a girl pictures when i really thought that person was a girl! ahahhhhhaha. greg, you goofball.

when we would chat it was fun. i'm up late and he's in a different time zone so it worked well. lots of fun getting to know him through chat. i gave him my phone number once but he never called what's up with that, greg?
but he did talk to delilah on the phone(while we were all chatting, that was a funny evening).

i remember him saying that his sisters and their friends were playing something (i don't remember what, but i remember thinking that it was adorable). he loves them.

i wish we would've chatted more lately. i was being self conscious or something because i thought he didn't want to talk to me because i'd do a lot of the talking in the last few chats we had(not even thinking that he didn't feel up to it because he seemed to be handling it so wonderfully and never said anything negative about his condition). i didn't think he liked chatting with me anymore so when i saw him on i wouldn't contact him and i'd let him contact me when he felt like it. i feel stupid for doing that. i regretted it. and then it was too late.

but then in my grief, after i was told the news, i called his name and he visited me. we talked for a little bit and he teased me about my room(with the natalie things still on the walls and other things) and thinking he was cute when he was dressed as a girl. he seemed quite happy and he apeared to have both his legs.

i would now like to say a few things about "death" for anyone who would like to listen. doesn't mean anyone has to agree with what i'm saying, i just want to impart things onto human consciousness, just to make it known, to trigger awareness somewhere in the minds of all, to put there on the table for people to take it or leave it. simply observe what i am saying.

death does not exist. the beautiful deity known to us as greg, is still alive. literally. most people are familiar with something called a "soul". well, this soul that everything has is pure-energy. it is not merely inside of you in your chest as once thought but it is surrounding you and is within you entirely as well. and if you speak to a scientist, they will tell you that energy cannot be killed or cannot die, EVER. you can only change energies' shape or divide it or add to it but it will always be. energy cannot be killed. EVER
greg carried around a denser physical body/vehicle to experience life on earth. but his body was damaged by the cancer and so he dropped the body and moved to a different realm of experience that might be called "oneness" with god, the creator, the source, whatever moniker you wish to give it.
greg has returned to oneness. he is still alive, simply somewhere else, out of our dimension. but he can still hear us, be with us. just call his name. he will be with you instantly. doesn't matter if many people call upon him at once, he is without any physical limitation now.

call him, if you wish. he's watching me type this now. you can call anyone who has ever existed, to you.
when you call greg, be at peace and be in silence. he will answer you in some way. even if you hear a voice and it's your own voice, do not rush to say that it is not him(unless you really wish to). feel the feeling.

one last thing about death i wish to say in this post,
to anyone and everyone. i have said it before and i will say it many more times in my stay here on earth:
EVERYONE WILL SEE EVERYONE AGAIN.
NO EXCEPTIONS.

i don't even have to promise that but i will:
i PROMISE that everyone will see everyone again.
no one has ever really died and no one ever really shall.

i know this because i am this.

i hope that this post has been a comfort to someone.
it's helped me express and release grief over the
imagined/temporary loss of a beloved friend who i wish
was still with us in the same form.

I LOVE YOU GREG! YOU'RE A GREAT FRIEND.
i hope that someday i can fool someone by dressing up like a girl and look as cute as you did.
you're a genius deity greg. i know you know that now.
i feel your love and i hope you feel mine.

gadzooks, usually when i've ever cried, it's like one tear out of one eye and that's it. but now i've gone through quite a few kleenex here greg, thanks a lot!

(just when you thought i was finally done,lol:
when i received the information from cal that
greg had left his body, i was listening to a song
by my band that we had just recorded just to have it recorded and the last part really perked my spirits and felt appropriate to the moment and my feelings on greg's passing. i really wanted to name that song after him to honor him. so i asked the other members and they were all down with it, so sometime soon i will post that recording of
"goodbye for now pegleggreg".